She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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