I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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