Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
