wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
