Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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