So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
