i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
