She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
