I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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