Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
