I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
