Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
