Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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