Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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