can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
