they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
