I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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