btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
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he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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