Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
