She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
