i already hear my dad disowning me
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
