Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
