I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
