i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
dude. I can hear the air.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
