She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
