That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
