im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
