What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
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she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
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Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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