After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
