i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
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it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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