Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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