The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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