Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
