it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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