Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
