So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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