conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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