i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
