so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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