nut hugger
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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