I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
