Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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