I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
