There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
