let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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