Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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