why didn't you poke me back
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
