ugly people sure do ruin things
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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