i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
