After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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