Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize