im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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