We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
