I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
