Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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