I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm at about main and main street
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
