I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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