you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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