I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
