Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
