You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
